The Story of John and Jen, Part 4

(To celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary tomorrow, I've been sharing the story of how John and I met, fell in love, and ended up promising ourselves to each other forever. You can read the rest of the story here.)

If you thought our first date ended awkwardly, it was nothing compared to the first time John tried to propose to me.

But let me back up a bit. In Fall of 2001, John and I had been dating 3 years and I was getting antsy for a proposal. We had already gone through our church's class for engaged or seriously dating couples (where we had been assigned a wonderful mentor couple, Dave and Gloria), and we had been affirmed in our compatibility. Our families confirmed this to us as well, and my mother already considered John a son (and always took his side when I was mad at him, to my chagrin).

I struggled to be patient. From time to time, I would set up ultimatims or deadlines for John, then God would convict me that I was not being loving toward my boyfriend, so I would back down and try to be patient awhile longer.

When the anthrax scare hit Capitol Hill in Fall 2001, John and the other House of Representatives employees got the week off of work. John wondered what he was going to do with this sudden week off, and I (only half joking) replied, "Why don't you go ask my dad for my hand?" After years of nagging John for a proposal, I didn't expect him to think anything of yet another sarcastic comment.

Two days later I called John around lunchtime and his phone rang and rang. When I asked him about it later, he said he had been sleeping in and had unplugged his phone. I took him at his word and didn't think anything else of it.

The following Saturday, I went to my dad's company picnic and met the receptionist, Jean. Although I didn't know Jean well, she immediately asked me how my "sweetie" was. I asked her how she knew about my sweetie, and she replied, "because he came into the office the other day."

Jean didn't know it, but she had given it away: John had taken my dad out for lunch the day I had called him, and had asked for my hand, which my dad had happily agreed to.

November 6, 2001.

For our three-year dating anniversary, John and I went to Baltimore Harbor and had dinner at Phillips Seafood Restaurant. I didn't know it at the time, but John had the ring in his pocket in the hopes that there might be an opportunity to propose that evening.

After dinner, John and I walked around the harbor. It sounds romantic, but it really was anything but. Everywhere we went, we were approached by homeless people asking for money. One man seemed legit, and we agreed to take him to a McDonalds to buy him some food. But McDonalds was closed, and after 45 minutes we had to give up and just give him money to find food on his own.

The mood was spoiled, but John decided to try again. We ended up on a small bridge where John pointed to the hospital where he had been born. He began to tell me how he had been extremely sick with jaundice as a baby, thinking this might lead to an opportunity to tell me that he believed one reason God had spared his life was to marry me. However, I already knew about the jaundice and dismissed him casually, so that he wouldn't waste breath telling me a story I already knew. (John says my response was simply, "So?" but I still can't believe I would be that heartless, so I'll continue to argue that point with him.)

After I had unknowingly shot down his attempt to propose to me, John was discouraged enough to give up, and we headed home. Only on our way home did I realize what John had been doing, and how I had responded. And I was going to have to wait 8 more months for another chance to respond correctly.