Remembering our wedding, 8 years later

John and I are celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary today.  This year hasn't been an easy one for us, in large part because of the stresses of the move last summer, but I also do believe there's something to the idea of a 7-year itch.  So I'm extra glad to have reached this milestone today, and we're in a better place today than we've been for years, for which I'm thankful.


On Facebook today, I'm asking folks to chime in with their memories of our wedding.  I love hearing what others remember, esp. since so much of the day is a blur to me now.  Here are some of my favorites so far:


"The bubbles as you and John left your reception. :) I have a pic of that and it's one of my favorite wedding pics of all-time." -- Sherry, rival from elementary school and friend from high school


"dancing w/ Mike on the dance floor at the reception (we had just gotten back together after our break), being on the outside porch taking pics with you & Meredith, the bubbles at the end & you being sad that it was over, & I believe a funny pink flamingo tied to your get-away car ;)" -- Sarah,  church friend since childhood


"The incredible spy museum!!! I've been back there at least once since the event and remember how cool it was to have a meal there!" -- Jonathan, cousin


"I remember thinking what a special couple you and John are. ( I still think that!) Also watching your family on the dance floor. It was a fun wedding! Congrats!" -- Amy, high school friend


"Happy anniversary to a beautiful couple! I remember lots of little details--the girls playing violin at your ceremony, the pretty purple bridesmaid dresses, your mom as matron of honor, you and John dancing to "Grow Old With You," the weather being unbelievably and unexpectedly beautiful for March, blowing bubbles as you two left the reception to begin your new life together. A wonderful day!" -- Emily, high school friend


"I wasn't at your wedding, but I knew you before you married, and you two worked so hard at your preparation to make sure you had a solid foundation. It got you this far (with God's help). You were good examples of doing it right. I also remember a fun lacrosse game." -- America, work friend


"Happy 8th St. Kitts friends! Wish we could all go back to celebrate!" -- Kristin, whom we met on our honeymoon after both getting married the same day in different states


"I remember you and John dancing to the theme from "Moulin Rouge" and singing it to each other. I also remember loving the bridemaid dress, which I wore to a number of other occasions over the years. I think it's still in my closet!" -- Ruth, college roommate and bridesmaid

"Happy Anniversary Jen! My memory is watching you and John - with such love in your eyes - pledge your lives to one another. I watched with wonder and anticipation, basking in joy myself as Bob and I had just gotten engaged the previous evening. Felt like your joy kicked off our own which is a special memory.: -- Jen, work/Bible study friend

"the purple bridesmaids' dresses and my hair up in the back... I don't think I have worn a dress since. lol John burning himself on the unity candle (hehe), you two dancing to "Grow Old with You", the beautiful reception place, and lots of other little things... :)" -- Laura, sister of the groom and bridesmaid

"I love the picture that you gave me from that day with the Bible study girls and I got to see Mina that day and meet her husband." -- Lydia, church/Bible study friend

"I thought ur wedding gown was so beauty full , most of all you looked amazing that day. loved the reception & was so happy to see all of our friends from the bible study. Happy 8th anniversary to you guys.....Jason & i will be 9 year this jun 28.It has been such a wonder full journey, & experiencing GOD together & seeing his miracle in our marriage it's unbelievable.Love you guys & pray many more 8th;s to come to celebrate." -- Mina, church/Bible study friend

"I remember your beautiful, colorful flowers and how happy you and John were! It was a blessing to be there. Happy Anniversary!!" -- Laura, church friend

"Happy Anniversary! Does Daniel not making the roll call count??" -- Jason, brother of the bride and usher

"I remember thinking that where most weddings are all party and little substance, your wedding was the most meaningful and FAITH-filled. You and John were the most gracious couple at acknowledging everyone there. Oh, and I remember dancing! And seeing the stuffed animals on your couple-table that sing "Get to me the church on time" from My Fair Lady.And you had the BEST BEST BEST rehearsal dinner ever! I loved the theme and location - Spy Museum - plus delicious food." -- Michelle, junior high and high school friend and bridesmaid

"That beautiful bridesmaid dress - I had so many people who compliment about it when they see pictures. And since I was in YWAM at the time and totally broke I remember how you guys paid for my tickets and everything for me to be at your special day! I was so privileged to be part of your wedding! The meal you served was REALLY tasty. I also had a cultural experience when people were shocked when it was revealed by the beautiful bridesmaid dress that I had tatoos!" -- Karin, college suitemate and bridesmaid

"I remember the Congressman and his wife out on the deck."  -- Phil, church and Bible study friend

"I remember thinking, as I escorted you down the aisle, that I would be sobbing. Instead I had a tremendous smile as I experienced such wonderful joy. And I remember, despite my self-consciousness, our wonderful dance together to the song 'In My Life' as my life flashed before me...my little girl was taking the next step in her amazing journey." -- Jeff, father of the bride

"I remember what a PRIVILEGE it was to be by your side both as mom and matron of honor. I was honored to stand by Sue, a godly soon-to-be mother-in-law to my girl, lighting the separate candles before you lit the unity one. I loved being in the dressing room ahead of time . . . the anticipation and care that everyone was giving to one another, and standing in the narthex, a row of 'girls in purple' with the one in white so radiant. The bridesmaids' party (seeing Fiddler on the Roof at a dinner theater) was the best!" -- Debbie, mother of the bride

Were you at my wedding?  Please send along your memories, and I'll add them as I receive them!  :-)

Thanks everyone for adding to my joy today!

Jen

A Poem for John on his 36th Birthday

On November Sixth, Nineteen Ninety Eight,
We met up at ten for our fateful first date.
We both were surprised by our immediate connection
And spent several years deepening this affection.

We were meant for each other, we always knew,
And so, on July Seventh, Two Thousand and Two,
When you sang for me and your intentions professed,
You knew before you asked that my answer was yes.

On March Twenty-Second, Two Thousand and Three,
I was grafted into your family tree.
And though I cried as I said goodbye to our guests,
I knew as we left I was incredibly blessed.

In Two Thousand and Five we couldn’t stop crying
As we disappointed each other and loved ones kept dying.
But our marriage was made stronger by the trials we faced,
And God showed us anew the extent of His grace.

Two years later a daughter brought joy,
And two years after that, along came a boy.
Though parenthood definitely has moments of stress,
The heartwarming moments make up for the rest.

And John, as we enter Two Thousand and Ten,
Please know that I’d happily do this all over again.

The Story of John and Jen, Part 5

July 7, 2002

We had spent the July 4 weekend at John's parents' vacation home in West Virginia and were driving home. I had been hoping for a proposal that weekend, but after an emotional few days (long story) I had given up on it happening that trip.

On our way home, John got off at my parents' highway exit. When I asked why, John said that he wanted to sing worship songs by the lake nearby. We had spent several dates at that lake, and we were both emotionally frazzled, so it sounded like a nice idea to me... although I have to admit, I started wondering whether "this was it" since the idea seemed so out of the blue.

We found our way in the dark to a hill by the lake, and John pulled his guitar out of the case. Strangely, this evening he had trouble coming up with the chords for the worship songs he played every week in church.

After two or three songs, John started playing chords that I recognized, but not from a worship song. We both love the movie "The Wedding Singer," especially the song that Adam Sandler sings to Drew Barrymore at the end, "Grow Old With You." I had told John at one point how much I'd love it if he'd learn that song and sing it to me someday, and in my mind I had thought (but not verbalized) that it would be a great way to propose. It seems John had thought so too. And when John started playing the chords, I was pretty sure I knew what was coming.

I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad

Carry you around when your arthritis is bad

All I wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches

Build you a fire if the furnace breaks

Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you, kiss you

Give you my coat when you are cold

Need you, feed you

Even let you hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink

Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink

I could be the man who grows old with you

I wanna grow old with you

(Below is the clip from "The Wedding Singer". John sings it better but unfortunately I wasn't quick enough on the draw to videotape his proposal.)

When John finished singing the song, he pulled a box out of his pocket, opened it, and asked me to marry him (we were sitting on the ground so taking a knee would have seemed ridiculous). I remember thinking to myself, "Say something witty or profound, because you'll be telling this story for the rest of your life" (my mom had answered my dad with the very romantic, "Are you sure?"). But the best I could do was stutter out, "Of course!" and throw my arms around the man whom I would never have to let go of in this lifetime.

Before leaving the lake, we took these photos:

Then we drove the five minutes to my parents' house so my mom and I could jump around the den together and we could call all of our immediate family members.

Happy fifth anniversary to the man I will love forever!

The Story of John and Jen, Part 4

(To celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary tomorrow, I've been sharing the story of how John and I met, fell in love, and ended up promising ourselves to each other forever. You can read the rest of the story here.)

If you thought our first date ended awkwardly, it was nothing compared to the first time John tried to propose to me.

But let me back up a bit. In Fall of 2001, John and I had been dating 3 years and I was getting antsy for a proposal. We had already gone through our church's class for engaged or seriously dating couples (where we had been assigned a wonderful mentor couple, Dave and Gloria), and we had been affirmed in our compatibility. Our families confirmed this to us as well, and my mother already considered John a son (and always took his side when I was mad at him, to my chagrin).

I struggled to be patient. From time to time, I would set up ultimatims or deadlines for John, then God would convict me that I was not being loving toward my boyfriend, so I would back down and try to be patient awhile longer.

When the anthrax scare hit Capitol Hill in Fall 2001, John and the other House of Representatives employees got the week off of work. John wondered what he was going to do with this sudden week off, and I (only half joking) replied, "Why don't you go ask my dad for my hand?" After years of nagging John for a proposal, I didn't expect him to think anything of yet another sarcastic comment.

Two days later I called John around lunchtime and his phone rang and rang. When I asked him about it later, he said he had been sleeping in and had unplugged his phone. I took him at his word and didn't think anything else of it.

The following Saturday, I went to my dad's company picnic and met the receptionist, Jean. Although I didn't know Jean well, she immediately asked me how my "sweetie" was. I asked her how she knew about my sweetie, and she replied, "because he came into the office the other day."

Jean didn't know it, but she had given it away: John had taken my dad out for lunch the day I had called him, and had asked for my hand, which my dad had happily agreed to.

November 6, 2001.

For our three-year dating anniversary, John and I went to Baltimore Harbor and had dinner at Phillips Seafood Restaurant. I didn't know it at the time, but John had the ring in his pocket in the hopes that there might be an opportunity to propose that evening.

After dinner, John and I walked around the harbor. It sounds romantic, but it really was anything but. Everywhere we went, we were approached by homeless people asking for money. One man seemed legit, and we agreed to take him to a McDonalds to buy him some food. But McDonalds was closed, and after 45 minutes we had to give up and just give him money to find food on his own.

The mood was spoiled, but John decided to try again. We ended up on a small bridge where John pointed to the hospital where he had been born. He began to tell me how he had been extremely sick with jaundice as a baby, thinking this might lead to an opportunity to tell me that he believed one reason God had spared his life was to marry me. However, I already knew about the jaundice and dismissed him casually, so that he wouldn't waste breath telling me a story I already knew. (John says my response was simply, "So?" but I still can't believe I would be that heartless, so I'll continue to argue that point with him.)

After I had unknowingly shot down his attempt to propose to me, John was discouraged enough to give up, and we headed home. Only on our way home did I realize what John had been doing, and how I had responded. And I was going to have to wait 8 more months for another chance to respond correctly.

The Story of John and Jen, Part 3

(See Part 1 and Part 2)

Friday, November 6, 1998

Kim helped me get ready for my first date with John. Red sweater, black slacks, makeup done perfectly. I wasn't all that interested in this guy, but I wanted to look good nonetheless. We were slated to meet at 10 pm at Bennigans, and though John's roommate Jeff had told him NOT to be late, he kept me waiting till about 10:10.

We ordered dessert and I encouraged John to order a beer if he wanted to. He jokes now that I tricked him into dating me by getting him drunk. (I kinda doubt that one Corona would have done that.) I will say that I was very impressed with his ability to flip a Corona upside down with one hand to make the lime float to the bottom of the bottle. I still can't do that.

Several hours later, we were kicked out of the restaurant when it closed. Time had flown by, and I remember being stunned that I felt like I was seeing into the heart of this man I had only known casually. After we left, we sat in my car and kept talking. I was having a great time.

And then I began to panic.

What was I doing spending all these hours with a guy I wasn't interested in? Was I simply rebounding from a guy who had broken my heart a few months before? Would I hurt John by leading him on? And I started spurting out warnings to John: "There are warning lights all over me. Be careful."

And suddenly what had seemed like a wonderful evening to him got very confusing. We parted ways and went home to our respective families.

John told his family he had met a girl and they all rejoiced. He tried to make sense of my confusing mixed messages.

I told my family and they were excited too, but the most important message I got was in prayer. As I prayed about the situation, I felt the Lord's peace come over me and an assurance that I was to trust God and walk forward carefully.

Sunday evening I met up with John at our church's evening service. After the service, I walked him out to his car and gave him a bag of homemade cookies. I told him he could pursue me.

Turns out, the pursuit was already over. We mark November 6, 1998 as the day we began dating.

The Story of John and Jen, Part 2

(See Part 1 here)

October 1998. John and I had become friends serving together on both our church's young adult worship team and our church's volunteer youth staff. One night after youth group, a group of us youth staffers went out for dessert to celebrate another staffer's birthday. John sat across from me in the hopes of getting to know me better. However, his efforts were thwarted when the youth minister sat next to John and proceeded to ask him question upon question about politics and culture.

However, John did give me a ride back to the church afterwards, so we did get a chance to talk. He learned that I was casually dating another guy on youth staff, but since all I did was complain about the guy, John's hopes were left intact.

The next Sunday, while the guy I was dating was around, I went up to my friend John and gave him a big hug around the neck. I probably did this to make the other guy jealous, but God used it to give John hope: John saw it as flirting and decided to make the next move.

Two days later, I got a carefully-crafted email (it turns out that John enlisted the help of his female intern in writing an email that was cool and casual). In the email, John said he was going to Sunny's birthday party that Friday night, and would I want to go with him? I ran over to my coworker Kristi's desk and showed her the email. "Is he asking me out?" I asked her. We decided he probably was.

Since I obviously wasn't too happy with the guy I had been seeing, and since I was impressed that John had the guts to ask me out, I decided I'd give him a chance. However, I had already made plans for Friday night with the high schooler I was mentoring at church (now one of my closest friends, Kim!), so I had an excuse to keep the outing brief. I turned down the party invitation but told him I'd meet up with him afterwards. We made plans to meet at Bennigan's at 10 pm on November 6, 1998 -- a date that would forever change my life.

The Story of John and Jen, Part 1

John and I celebrate five years of marriage on March 22. There have been tough challenges, sure, but there have been countless blessings as well. I'm so thankful God has given me John as a husband -- it's been one of many ways that He has smiled upon me!

I'm going to steal an idea from my friends Mary and Sarah and share "The Story of John and Jen" this month in several parts to remember the beginning of one of the best adventures of my life.

____________________

The first time I remember seeing John was when I was home from college for Christmas break my senior year. I was on the summer worship team for my home church's college/young adult group, so I was surprised to see someone I didn't recognize leading worship that Sunday. I turned to Sunny, a girl I had just met, and asked who the guy was playing guitar, and she said, "Oh, that's John." I went back to worshipping and didn't give it another thought.

After church, the girl went up to John and told him about the girl sitting next to her who had been checking him out. Excited, John asked who the girl was, and Sunny could not remember my name. By then I was gone, and off to college for my final semester, and John was furious at his friend for dropping the ball regarding a girl who was apparently interested in him.

Eleven months later, I told my new friend Sunny that I had gone on a date with John. And suddenly she remembered who it was who had been "checking John out" that morning.